The Lancaster Hotel in Houston

Disappointed. After specifically asking in advance AND the day of about valet parking, no valet service was available. My guests arrived at the door for valet and were turned away to find their own parking. I inquired as to why there was no valet and the hostess stated "we have a valet" - I asked her to look into the issue. She never followed up, I still have no idea why all of my guests were turned away. This was a Christmas party with set menu - Apps were good, Salads were fine, nothing special. Entrees - I am told the steaks were good, however the lobster was tough/chewy, and the salmon overcooked. Dessert trio came - cheesecake was ok, however it wasn't any better than those out of the frozen section of the grocery. "Bread Pudding" couldn't be managed with a spoon or fork. Some used a steak knife to attempt it. Not certain why this is a revered dessert; you could possible chip a tooth on it. My drinks were good - plenty of tequila - but really weren't anything special. I also promised my guests live entertainment after consulting the entertainment schedule on the Sambuca website. I never heard anyone go on stage. This was once a well-loved Houston venue. It has definitely taken a negative turn. Sad.

If I could give this place 0 stars or less I would. We actually had the distinct pleasure of going to both Sambuca and their bar upstairs, Lawless. I'm not going to review Lawless as well, but just to get the picture, imagine a cheap strip club with over eager escorts serving up basic drinks.

Waited a bit for a table - okay. Seated in the back when the band starts. I have heard some bad dinner music, but this takes the cake. It was okay when they were instrumental, but the vocals took it to comic territory. Server finally shows up and takes drink orders. Little did I know, the syrupy well drink on their specialty cocktail menu would serve as both libation and the caloric content for the evening. We ordered "apps" which arrived a prompt 30 minutes later. After putting them on the table, he was starting to walk away when we asked to place an order for dinner (7pm. You know, dinner time?). Out of the lasagna. Fantastic. No wait, he will go check. Now they aren't out of lasagna? Which one is it? I order it but the look I am given instills no confidence that it is what I will receive. Drinks on the table are empty and he disappears before we can get that in as well. Stuffed artichoke was a from a can with some kind of mayonnaise... goop? Oh, and a decorative bit of salad garnish. Inedible.

Now the waiting game...

At some point the restroom was in order. I have been to many developing countries and not experienced such a smell. Apparently their primary restrooms were out of order, leaving one single occupant for the large restaurant. If this wasn't a business dinner I would have walked out then and there. This is a serious health code violation.

At last, about 2 hours into our sit on the tacky red velvet lap-dance booths, food arrives.They did have lasagna after all! For some reason there was a dousing of balsamic vinegar on it, which was entirely overpowering. I could not cut through the under-cooked and over heat-lamp pasta and the middle was overloaded with a bland ricotta. Greasy, tough, again, inedible. The polenta was reported to have had no sauce, no flavor.

Some time later, I was able to wave the server down one last time for a check... which... was... overcharged by $14.00.

Just wow. I mean, it was the kind of thing where you would go between laughing and dead serious hanger. Shut. this. place. down.