JW Marriott San Francisco Union Square in San Francisco

It's too old and the location isn't safe.

On the day of my checked-out, the available lift was ONLY ONE in operation. The rest of the lift was not in operation and the waiting time for the lift was not reasonable especially those with luggage with them. Building were old compared to others. Staff was not as friendly as what I expected especially at the concierge and the checked out counter. 

This hotel looks like it was designed by Catherine O'Hara's character in Beetlejuice but if she were broke. The architecture is so 1987 postmodern it wheels around from completely hideous and back to interesting. The interior has pink granite, gold accents, a theme of perfect arches missing keystones, a statue that looks like a Photoshop 2.0 splash screen, an atrium with glass elevators, a 13th floor, a brick exterior broken by small arched windows. If you're a fan of 1980s postmodern architecture do yourself a favor and just go gape at this thing from the 3rd floor lobby. It's like Michael Graves doodled on a napkin while he was drunk. This hotel room was so dated I actually took a picture of a wall sconce to show my nerdy friends because it was so ridiculous. I am not reviewing the hotel on the dated architecture.

In the room there is a grey wall, and then a wood or faux-wood piece of built-in furniture and then the hallway to the door. In the middle of the night when you get up to you can see the grey wall just fine, but you can't see the dark wood furniture piece and it's easy to assume it's part of the hallway to the door and open. So, not wanting to wake up my partner I kept the light off as I got up to go pee at 2am. I slammed at full walking speed into the piece of wooden furniture. Dazed, I slowly reached my hand up like I had found some kind of Stargate only to belatedly realize that it was that stupid piece of furniture. I bruised my forehead so the next weekend people kept asking me how I got the bruise and I had to say "I walked into a wall". I could have turned on the lamp, I am not reviewing the hotel on how easy it is to walk around the room in the dark.

The restaurant on the third floor is weird and has chandeliers straight from an episode of Dynasty. I don't know why anyone would actually eat there and spend $46 on sous vide 4oz beef except if they, like me, had free money from work they had to spend there. The staff was very nice but I think they must keep the restaurant here solely to keep their star rating because... you're in San Francisco and you can easily just, you know, eat other places with better/cheaper food. I am not reviewing the hotel on the restaurant.

The hotel is an atrium so the rooms all face the big open space on one side and the outside on the other. From the interior you can hear everything echo and you can also hear the outside noises, so a double whammy. Nothing is especially soundproof. I was woken up by 1. A yipping small dog 2. a party of people speaking Portuguese 3. A crazy man yelling about the second coming from the sidewalk. I am not reviewing the hotel on the noises.

What I am reviewing the hotel on: The location is great. There was no weather stripping under my hotel room door and the door to the next room, you know those interior room-to-room doors? So I could hear everything including a guy on his phone in the bathroom wondering how he could keep his affair a secret. I was riveted. The TV did not work, and there was an old blood stain on one of the pillow cases. Go here to gawk at the architecture but find a better place to stay.